After a long and divisive battle that has seen some of the most intense conflict of the 20th century, Norway, the Scandinavian country with a long and well established military history, and Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, a small town in Canada’s 6th most populous province, have finally come to a legislative conclusion to the ongoing Moose war, which has burdened both parties’ resources since the conflict began.
“Finally, our families can rest. After a long and gruelling war, we can finally go to bed feeling safe, and knowing that our fathers, brothers, and friends will be returning home in one piece” said one local boy at the press conference where the truce was announced.
The conflict arose when a small Norwegian municipality called Stor-Elvdal built a large moose statue, a move that was in direct violation of the little known “Moose clause,” an obscure and often forgotten section of the Treaty of Versailles, the world changing legislature that put an to the state war between Germany and the allied powers after World War I.
Now, Moose Jaw and Stor-Elvdal have signed the “Moosarandum of Understanding,” a groundbreaking treaty that will seek to end all future moose related conflict.
The centerpiece to the ongoing conflict was Mac, a giant moose statue that stands proudly at 32 feet tall. Conflict arose when Norway decided to build a moose of similar proportions, a direct violation of moose-related International law.
“Linda has been very gracious and understands that with the public and private donations to make Mac the world’s tallest moose that we will be pursuing that,” Moose Jaw Mayor Fraser Tolmie said.
“In exchange for conceding the claim to world’s tallest moose, Moose Jaw will recognize Norway’s statue as the shiniest and most attractive moose in the world. Because Norway’s moose is a work of art, unlike Mac, it can’t be changed.”
“We’ve had talks about building a new moose in 20 metres gold,” the deputy mayor of Stor-Elvdal, Linda Henriksen, said. “I know the artist has been looking into it and it is possible, but it costs a lot of money.”
The bloody and well-documented conflict will now come to a conclusion with an official cease-fire, after four years of heated back and forths.
“I’m just happy it never got nuclear” said Gregory Lametti, a local pizza store owner and moose war historian.
“For a while there, I was very afraid. We know what kind of endings these types of conflicts these can have. Ever since our defeat in the sea otter war, our country’s confidence has been dwindling. Hopefully this can put the doubts of many Canadians to rest.”
An announcement will be made later on for official details on a moose parade.
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